


After

by Ladystiltskin67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel feels, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Poor Dean, SPN - Freeform, Season 14 Coda, Supernatural - Freeform, queen of the dumpster, season 14, spn coda, spn season14, supernatural season 14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 13:06:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17746451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladystiltskin67/pseuds/Ladystiltskin67





	After

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion now. Dean stood quietly, listening to Sam recount the events of the past twenty four hours. He tried not to squirm under Castiel's stare when Sam explained the bruises, he tried to hold in the tears when he relieved saying goodbye to his dad so soon after it happened, but his body and mind were tired. He remained silent through his mother and brother taking turns saying their goodnights deciding the best he could do was nod.

"Dean?" the Angel's soft voice broke through the haze in Dean's mind. Watery green eyes looked up at him and suddenly Dean was no longer a warrior of Heaven, no longer fierce, all edges and sharp lines. Now he was just a boy who'd lost his dad.... Again. He looked smaller, younger, vulnerable.

"Oh Dean... I am so sorry." Dean nodded looking away.

"It's late. Why don't you see if you can get some rest?" Dean's only answer was a sniffle as he wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"Come on." Cas stated quietly as he reached out slowly placing a hand in the center of Dean's back applying the smallest amount of pressure to get him moving. When they reach Dean's room he looked even more lost. Standing at the foot of his bed he fidgeted and picked at a cut on his finger.

"Dean, no... Here." Cas reached for the hunters hand cradling it gently in one of his. They both watched as the Angel trailed a finger over the cut sealing it closed.

Taking the opportunity in front of him, Castiel reached out gently to cup Dean's swollen jaw allowing his grace to flow and heal the damaged tissue. Dean looked quickly to the door and looked as if he wanted to speak choosing to instead settle and clear his throat.

"Sam's already asleep, but I assure you that if he permits it, I will heal him first thing in the morning." Dean nodded again. Without having anything to distract him he felt the weight of the day come crashing back. He sat on the bed, he stood and paced, he went back to the bed pulling the comforter back, he moved the pillows... Nothing relieved the tightness in his chest. All the while Cas stood patiently, back against the door eyes softly trained on his friend. Dean moved back across the room toeing off his shoes using his foot to shove them under the desk when something caught his eye. Tentatively as if it would crumble under the pressure building inside him, he slid his fingers over the soft worn top.

Dad's journal had been a security blanket to him. A source he could pull strength from. A place where he could... Somewhere where John was... If he tried hard enough and followed the rules written in it...

A sharp intake of air initiated another round of tears. When the shaking started Castiel moved closer but still left enough distance as not to smother the other man, even with the overwhelming urge inside him to touch, to comfort. It's not that he'd never seen Dean cry, over the past decade the man had been through some tough times, he'd just never seen Dean cry like this.

The dam had finally burst. All the times he had to be strong, every time he sacrificed his life, all the stress and pain, abuse and anger he'd kept buried released in a pitiful display of tears and barely audible cries. Dean wrapped his arms tightly around himself gasping in deep breaths. He startled when a hand wrapped around his upper arm turning him slightly to face the person it belonged to.

"Cas..." the hunters voice came out soft and broken.

"What can I do?"

Without speaking Dean moved forward into his friends arms. Sighing as Castiel's arms instantly encircled him. They stayed that way far longer than socially acceptable but Dean couldn't bring himself to care. He was hurt and for a change he wanted to be taken care of. He allowed another minute or so to pass before he loosened his grip on the tan coat and began to pull away.

"Sorry Cas."

"I don't know what you're apologizing for."

"I don't know man... Being pathetic, making you uncomfortable like that." Dean couldn't hold eye contact for as long as he usually could.

"Neither of those things are true Dean. You didn't make me uncomfortable. I enjoy being close to you. I'm happy to provide you any comfort I can. Dean, look at me please? I know that had to be one of the worst things you've ever gone through, and I'm sorry that he couldn't stay. You're not pathetic for having feelings." While speaking the angel had moved ever closer resting a hand on the hunters elbow.

"I know... It's just... It's, I don't know. It's embarrassing."

"What is, being held?" Dean's face was always the best at communicating his feelings. And right now his expression screamed, _"please don't call it **that"**_

"I'm just so used to it being the other way around I guess." Which was true. His entire life he'd been the one to provide protection.

Castiel nodded. There was so much more he wanted to say but he left the conversation where it was. Dean had a rough enough time, no need to push.

"I guess I'm just tired."

"Well I'll let you get some rest." As the Angel moved to the door a small tug on his coat stilled him.

"Why do you treat me different?"

"Different than....?"

"Just different. You're... Easy with me." Dean looked honestly confused and Cas graced him with a small warm smile.

"Because I love you. Because you're important to me." Castiel spoke unabashedly as usual. Dean never could figure out if the Angel just didn't understand the weight of his words, or if he just didn't care.

Looking slightly pink tinted Dean seemed satisfied with his answer.

"You have somewhere to be?"

"No where in particular at the moment."

"Can you.... Ughm... You wanna stay? I don't really want to be alone with psycho right now." Dean pointed to his head

"No where else I'd rather be. But I really do think you need to sleep."

"I can sleep with you here."

Dean quickly shed his outer layer and snuggled down into bed. A pointed look good Cas he should do the same with his clothing. Sitting clad in his button up and slacks Cas picked a book and sat next to his friend.

"I guess we need to talk."

"We can talk after."

"After what?"

Cas leaned forward from his seat in the chair and brushed his fingers just under Dean's hair line, adding the tiniest amount of grace.

"Sleep Dean, I'll watch over you."

"... 's still creepy Cas...." Dean drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Tomorrow wasn't a magical land where everything would suddenly be ok, but it did hold promise. Tomorrow his mother would still be mourning, an archangel would still be stuck in his head, but he had a home and a family. A real family. And for the first time in his life he was at peace with it. With who he was and the life he lived.


End file.
